April showers bring May speeding tickets

“I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I’m free.” – Dom, Fast and Furious

Threatened with losing my license, last year I had to attend a driver retraining program due to one two many speeding tickets on my record. One I attempted (and failed) to dispute in court, and all of those tickets were due to driving about 10 miles over the speed limit, which many cops not concerned about their quotas would happily laugh away.

Now, I must say that the course was the biggest waste of money I have ever spent.

The “teacher” was rude, bitter, and clearly lacked knowledge in basic Massachusetts motor vehicle laws, as she stumbled on her responses to legal questions people were inquiring about, making point to say “my job isn’t to teach you the law.”

Cell phone usage was strictly prohibited, and violators would be kicked out of the classroom and required to pay for the course again. When I started to twiddle my pen in my fingers on my lap, she came to me with dead eyes and said “text one more time and your out of here”. I promptly took my phone out of my back pocket and smugly proclaimed “I wasn’t texting. This has been off and in my pocket the whole time.”

She apologized a couple times and went on with her horrid ramblings.

It was only when she started to speak about why people like to speed that my interest was piqued. “It’s fun,” and “I’m always late” were the common answers.

But when i stopped to think about why I like speed, I couldn’t help but instantly think of Dominic Toretto’s (Vin Diesel) famous line from the matriarch of the “Fast” franchise.

There’s something about hitting a turn at high speed or overtaking a car going 100 mph that really fills me with adrenaline. And honestly, sometimes that adreline is strangely the only way I can get calm. It’s such a freeing experience knowing that I’m in control, and the roads I take in my life are all up to me.

Of course, naturally I never spoke those words to my “teacher”. Until now, that feeling has been something i’ve kept strictly inside.

Still, even though it is indeed freeing for me to drive like, lets face it, an asshole, I do need to avoid any more tickets.

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